I tend to worry about things. I know, I am a psychologist and I know better. However, that does not stop me from worrying about all sorts of things. So what am I currently worrying about?
1. Getting things done in the next 15 days (two weeks from tomorrow we leave for California and won’t be back until after my surgery).
2. Money – how much will the surgery cost? What if I have to take leave without pay? How will we pay the bills?
3. I have to stay away from sick people. I cannot afford to catch anything right now.
4. I have to admit, I worry that the surgeon may get inside me and find he must replace the aortic valve after all.
5. What if I don’ have any leave when the kids and our grandson come for Christmas?
6. And some sillier ones – how long will I have to go without shaving my legs, plucking eyebrows, etc? Will I gain weight while convalescing and how much muscle will I lose?
This is the short list. And now I will tell you why it does no good to worry.
1. Whatever needs to get done will get done and if it doesn’t either someone else will do it or it was not that important.
2. How much the surgery will cost is very little compared to the value of my life. It appears I am unlikely to need to take leave without pay because I am eligible for donated leave and advanced leave. I will still get paid while convalescing.
3. Okay, so just stay away from sick people and practice universal precautions (in short, wash hands frequently). Eat properly, rest adequately, and get a reasonable amount of exercise (I am already supposed to be doing these things).
4. Can I do anything about what they may or may not find during my surgery? No. I found a great surgeon and now I need to trust him to take good care of me.
5. My boyfriend answered this one for me. Okay, so you may not have any time off while the kids are here…but you will be alive. ’nuff said.
6. Shaving legs, plucking eyebrows, weight gain, muscle loss…etc. These are all reversible. Death is not. This all reminds me of a diagram that I found online several months ago.