Before: 

You have such a pretty face!

“I can’t imagine you have THAT much to lose!”

I think you are pretty the way you are…

During:

Wow, you look great, be careful you don’t lose too much weight!

“I thought you looked great before, but now…!”

How are you doing it? Really, just exercising and calories?

After:

You look wonderful. But you ARE done aren’t you? After all, you don’t want to be too skinny!

How did you do it? How long did it take? Really, a whole year?

And here is what they are thinking: “She’s too thin.”

“I’ll bet she never eats.”

“I don’t like being around her; it makes me feel bad about myself.”

I have encountered all of these and then some in my weight loss journey. And now that I have put on a few pounds through increased muscle…I have even heard:

“I am so glad you gained some weight, you were too thin.”

So many people have opinions about my body. How is it that my body became the topic of discussion for everyone? Well, in part, it is because I drew attention to myself by making changes. I made changes that others would like to make but their excuses stand in the way. I dress in a way that shows off my new body. I smile more. I sit up and stand up straight and proud.

People say that I motivate them. They say that they want to do what I did. However, no matter what I do or say, no matter how much support and encouragement I offer, the changes do not occur. And for some, this is how I become a source of irritation, a reminder of what they COULD be doing. And I even get the attempts to sabotage.

“I know you are so good about what you eat, are you sure you don’t want one of these doughnuts?”

I was once in a relationship in which every time I attempted to lose weight, the other person would do things like buy my favorite candy bars (2 or 3) and put them on my pillow. I have seen people who buy enough for everyone to lessen their discomfort with eating things they know they should not eat. 

In the end, when someone changes, whether through weight loss or some other life action, it brings up feelings for others. Change is scary, change is hard, change is unpredictable, and when you change, it throws everything off balance for others. They are forced to either see themselves as they are or initiate their own changes. Both options are uncomfortable. It would be easier if you would just go back to who you were.

“I have these really yummy cookies. Are you sure you don’t want to try them? You’re going to the gym later anyway aren’t you?”