I woke up this morning…yes, I slept pretty well again last night with the help of diphenhydramine. Anyway, I woke up this morning with the sunrise and it occurred to me that there are only 4 days until my surgery. It startled me a little. Why does that sound a whole lot closer than 5 days?
Well, 5 days is closer to 7 which is a week, while 4 days is halfway between a week and no days. Last week I could say that the surgery was not until next week. Tomorrow it will be THIS week. I am still, thankfully, not feeling nearly as nervous as I thought I would.
As odd as this may sound, in some ways I just want to get on with this. I have sort of given up on workouts for the last few days. I worked out on Thursday, but skipped yesterday and will probably do no more than walk today and tomorrow. Monday I may take a walk at lunch time. I am looking forward to allowing my shoulder (chiropractor now thinks it was a partially torn ligament instead of muscle) to finish healing and recovering from the surgery so that I can get back to the gym. I mean REALLY get back to the gym. My goal is to be able to do a full workout – all body parts and cardio – by my birthday (Dec. 24) if not before. Don’t get me wrong, I intend to be back in the gym before that, but I want to be able to actually feel the workout.
I have not stepped on the scale in several days. While I am still eating a relatively healthy diet, I have cheated a bit more and do not really want to know how workouts with decreased intensity and relaxed diet are translating into weight. I do know that everything is less muscular and tight. It is hard to see my once relatively fit body, along with growing muscles, soften and weaken. In fact, I probably struggle more with that right now than with worry about the surgery. Two and a half years of hard work…well, it’s just hard to see the evidence slowly disappear.
What I try to remember through this process is that I now know how to get back into shape. I know what to eat. I know how to work out. I have spent my time since March 8, 2010 learning about my body and what makes it work. I did it once and then rehabbed repeatedly, I can and will do it again!
So here is the question…Is it good that 4 days feel like a lot fewer days than 5? You know what? At least for today, yes.
The EnLightened Journey 
We are always a “work in progress”. And we don’t lose the work we did. You changed every cell in your body. It runs differently now. Old cells died and you made all new ones. I’m not happy you have to have surgery, but I agree, your shoulder needs the rest. A year from now you will be stronger.
I am probably going to need your pro talks through that process!
Absolutely. Look -if you got pregnant, you’d gain weight, but you’d be making a human. Fair trade. Just lose the weight. So you’re getting your heart patched up. Fair trade. A little extra weight right now is healthy going into surgery. Body is about to be stressed.
Thank you. You are definitely the voice of reason!