I woke up this morning…yes, I slept pretty well again last night with the help of diphenhydramine. Anyway, I woke up this morning with the sunrise and it occurred to me that there are only 4 days until my surgery. It startled me a little. Why does that sound a whole lot closer than 5 days?
Well, 5 days is closer to 7 which is a week, while 4 days is halfway between a week and no days. Last week I could say that the surgery was not until next week. Tomorrow it will be THIS week. I am still, thankfully, not feeling nearly as nervous as I thought I would.
As odd as this may sound, in some ways I just want to get on with this. I have sort of given up on workouts for the last few days. I worked out on Thursday, but skipped yesterday and will probably do no more than walk today and tomorrow. Monday I may take a walk at lunch time. I am looking forward to allowing my shoulder (chiropractor now thinks it was a partially torn ligament instead of muscle) to finish healing and recovering from the surgery so that I can get back to the gym. I mean REALLY get back to the gym. My goal is to be able to do a full workout – all body parts and cardio – by my birthday (Dec. 24) if not before. Don’t get me wrong, I intend to be back in the gym before that, but I want to be able to actually feel the workout.
I have not stepped on the scale in several days. While I am still eating a relatively healthy diet, I have cheated a bit more and do not really want to know how workouts with decreased intensity and relaxed diet are translating into weight. I do know that everything is less muscular and tight. It is hard to see my once relatively fit body, along with growing muscles, soften and weaken. In fact, I probably struggle more with that right now than with worry about the surgery. Two and a half years of hard work…well, it’s just hard to see the evidence slowly disappear.
What I try to remember through this process is that I now know how to get back into shape. I know what to eat. I know how to work out. I have spent my time since March 8, 2010 learning about my body and what makes it work. I did it once and then rehabbed repeatedly, I can and will do it again!
So here is the question…Is it good that 4 days feel like a lot fewer days than 5? You know what? At least for today, yes.