Shiver Me Thinner

I completely related to the idea that it feels colder when you are thinner. I used to love winter – when I weighed 200+. Now, I wear scarves around my neck, even inside and layers. This is comedy…try not to take it literally.

Nailsbails

"Care Instructions: tumble-dry low and then never wear again." “Care Instructions: tumble-dry low and then never wear again.”

I’m finally cool. After years of ho-ho dieting, I’ve gotten back down to my college weight, and I’ve never felt cooler. Literally. As in, I’m freezing. This morning, my hands turned blue, and I had to put on a down jacket and sip a boiling cup of tea to stop from shivering. Why wasn’t I told about this? Are thin people part of a massive conspiracy to hide how freaking cold they are all the time so they can hoard the world’s supply of cashmere? Now I know why the contestants on The Biggest Loser gain all their weight back: they’re trying to warm up! In fact, the more I think about it, the more it all makes sense. Thin people often have cold personalities, while thick folks (as a former butterball, I find the f-word demeaning and insensitive) are known…

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